Sleeping Pills
by Hybrid-Demon
Summary: Raito has had enough. He is determined to sleep no matter what, no matter how extreme the circumstances, no matter what L does when he's unconscious. LxRaito CRACK. MAJOR CRACK. MAJOR OOC CRACK. The love child of Boredom and me. You have been warned.


Raito didn't think about it when L clasped the cuff around his wrist. He didn't think about it when he looked into L's obsidian eyes, purple-black bags conveying a message Raito failed to hear. No, Raito didn't think about it until the detective refused to go to bed. _That's_ when Raito realized:

Sleep was but a distant memory.

By week one, Raito was so tired that he had actually stolen L's cake to keep himself from passing out.

Of course, Raito wasn't getting the cake easily.

When his eyelids began to droop, he knew he needed something to fend of the swiftly oncoming dreamland. He'd drained his coffee already, and Matsuda was yet to make more. The closest thing was L's guaranteed to be loaded with sugar strawberry covered confectionary.

Swiftly, his hand shot out and grasped the cool porcelain plate. He was pulling the off-white cake bearing ceramic dish toward him, gloating silently at his supposed win when a pale hand darted towards his own, long, spidery fingers gripping the plate.

With a snarl, Raito performed a move that is almost impossible to describe. He jumped and rolled into himself, sitting almost like L, only he was crouching, his body lowered between his legs. His vicious snarl was enough to frighten L away from his prized possession. Raito, however, still slinking away into his raised knees, narrowed his eyes, his snarl becoming a deep throated growl. His eyes stayed focused on L, threatening the older man to even _dare_ take the cake back. He reached into the strawberry sweetmeat with his fingers, his growl ebbing as he shoved the saccharine delicacy into his mouth. He licked the frosting off his fingers before diving in for another bite.

When he came to his senses– two handfuls of cake later– his eyes widened, he stopped in mid-chew and appeared just as shocked as the team around him. He stared back at them, reflecting their horrified looks, pink and white frosting still gracing his finger tips, his hand poised in front of his mouth.

"You could have just said 'please'." L said, a look of startled amusement dancing in his eyes.

That day was exactly three weeks, 4 days, 16 hours and 27 minutes ago. Not that Raito would know. Although the incident was fresh in his mind and the memory still carried shame,  
he wasn't obsessive enough to memorize the exact date. However, I, the authoress, has, and felt the need to share the information with the general public. Now, back to our story.

Raito couldn't take the sleepless night's anymore. He devised a plan which he emailed to his father and then deleted every bit of information of. He was sneaky. L had no idea what was going to happen.

The next day his father slipped him something before he left. The other's were already gone, and Raito and L were left alone.

Raito waited for about 20 minutes. Then, looking around sheepishly, he slipped a bottle from his sleeve and into his hand. The pills inside rattled, calling L's attention to the teens fingers. Raito flinched, seeming embarrassed by the give away.

"What are you hiding?" L asked, his wide eyes peering at Raito from under a mess of ebony bangs.

Raito bit his lip, before he let a sigh. He let a light tinge of pink decorate his cheeks, bowing his head ever so slightly and turning from L. He exposed the bottle to the older man.

"Anti-depressants." he said quietly.

L leaned over to look at the bottle. "Why do you need them?" he asked, pretending to be thick and naive.

"Obviously, because I'm depressed."

"How did you get them?"

"I had a few left over from when I let teenage drama get to me one year, and fell into a short bout of depression."

L scanned his mental file of the Yagami kid. He didn't remember Raito having anti-depressants prescribed to him. Had he missed it, or was he lying to him? Could they be poison? But his dad had slipped them to Raito, and Yagami-san wouldn't want to kill L.

... Right?

"When I got depressed, you hit me." L said matter-of-factly.

Raito smiled. "I was hoping you could forgive and forget." Raito got up and walked over to the small kitchenette, stretching the chain to it's limit. "Tea?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at the detective.

"Nine sugars, please."

Usually, Raito would have put a pot on the stove and then go back to work, waiting until it whistled and make the tea the long way. But today he was tired. He filled two cups with water and set them in the microwave. He set a time and then watched as the two cups spun in a slow circle, the microwave _whirr_ing. L looked up curiously at him.

"Why the microwave?" he asked. He, of course, had observed that Raito takes his time with tea.

"I don't feel like waiting."

L didn't even reply. He looked at Raito for a second longer and then turned back to his computer.

"_Perfect._" Raito thought to himself. Then he kept himself from jumping as the microwave beeped, obnoxiously telling him that the water was hot. With a sigh, he took the two cups out of the machine and reached for the tea bags.

After scooping in 9 spoonful's of sugar, he then stood there trying to make the sugar dissolve. He had no idea how L could handle it. It was like trying to stir thick, white sludge. It was sickening enough just stirring it, let alone drinking it.

He gave up for the time being, grabbing the pill bottle off the counter and fishing in his pocket for the pill splitter. He felt L's eyes on him as he dumped some of the pills into his palm. When he saw the one he wanted, the one his father promised would be there, he set the one lone, white pill on the counter and put the others back. Then he proceeded to crack the pill in half and begin grinding it to a dust.

L's eyes were almost setting fire to Raito.

"I only need to take half." He explained, pretty sure that L had not noticed that fact he was pulverizing the other half. Then, he made the gesture of taking the pill and swallowing it with a swig of hot tea.

Only the half of white pill was still between his fingers, being ground to a powder.

And that white powder was being dumped in a tea cup, already brimming with white substance, the pill dust getting lost in the pile of sugar.

Then he took both cups of tea back to the computers, setting L's sugar filled on in front of him, and keeping his own.

L sniffed that concoction.

Then took a sip.

Then another sip.

Raito gave a mental victory whoop before jumping up and dancing. Then he laughed as L fell dead asleep and he carried him off to the bedroom for a nice, long night of shuteye.

But in reality, Raito sat there silent, not even letting a smile adorn his features.

Only five minutes passed when L's eyelids started to droop.

Blinking furiously, L shook his head ever so slightly, trying to clear his blearing vision.

Raito looked over at the dark haired man. "Is something wrong, Ryuuzaki?" he asked, feigning complete innocence.

"I... I seem to be very tired all of a sudden."

Raito gave L a worried look. "Have you been feeling alright?"

L's large, onyx eye's appeared to be going in and out of focus. "I was feeling fine, but–" He had to stifle a yawn, "now I'm exhausted."

"Maybe we should go to bed?"

L's eyes flickered down to the clock in the bottom right hand side of the computer screen. "But it's only midnight."

"Ryuuzaki, you're going to pass out. Come on. I think you're coming down from a sugar rush."

"I'll be fine," L started, looking up and Raito like an injured child. "I'm sure it'll pass."

Raito sighed. "If you think you can keep working..."

L turned back to his screen with a determined, but absolutely tired, look in his eyes. However, it was only a matter of minutes before his head began to bob.

Raito got up and grabbed on to him, forcing him out of the chair and onto his feet.

"We're going to bed." He said without giving L the option to refuse. L nodded.

"That's probably the best idea." He yawned.

They began to walk down the hall way.

Raito couldn't wait to go to bed. The idea of actually sleeping a whole night– hell, maybe even 12 hours– was beyond exhilarating.

Suddenly, he felt a tug. He heard a loud _thump!_

He looked down.

L was lying on the ground, face down, seeming to have tripped.

"Ryuuzaki, are you ok?" He demanded, gently flipping L over.

L stirred, rubbing his eyes.

"I... I'm sorry... I must have fallen asleep..."

Raito stared at him. "Standing up?"

But L was already asleep again.

Raito blinked, confused by the detective ever increasingly strange antics. The sleeping pill shouldn't have acted so quickly!

What did his dad give him?

He shrugged and scooped L up in his arms. He was surprisingly light.

They got to the bedroom and Raito tossed L on the bed before changing his pants. He turned off the light and tucked L in, snuggling under the covers as well.

At long last, relaxation.

When Raito woke up, he could just tell it was still night time. This confused him. He was supposed to sleep clear into tomorrow morning. He glanced at the clock.

"**3:13." **It beamed in rather evil looking red. Raito closed his eyes with a groan, with every intent to go back to sleep.

That's when he felt the hands on him.

The were warm and spidery. Raito tensed up, holding his breath.

"Ryuuzaki?" he whispered.

L, who was the only person who could currently be groping him, didn't respond. Lithe fingers danced on Raito's chest, having pulled the shirt up to touch the soft skin below it. The detectives pale hands tickled the boy, Raito's breath catching in his throat.

"Ryu-Ryuuzaki?" Raito stuttered, raising his voice. "What are you _doing_?!"

Once again, L ignored him, his hands roaming the expanse of the boy's skin. He trailed his hands down Raito's stomach and slipped two fingers below the elastic of the Raito's pajama's.

Eye's wide, Raito jumped away from him, spinning around under the mass of blankets to kill the horny detective.

Only, L's eyes were closed, a content smile on his face.

Raito blinked.

"_He... He's asleep?_" Raito thought to himself, amazed.

He poked L a few times, rolling the sleeping man over, then he settled back into bed. He'd barely closed his eyes when he felt the hands on him again.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Bright morning sun was bathing the large room in light. Birds chirped and tittered on the light breeze, blowing through the whispering trees. Off in the distance, a cicada was humming it's tune with a hundred of it's own kind. A fluffy, cloud like kitten was lapping from a saucer of milk. A man was whistling as he walked his dog, laughing and saying hi to his friendly neighbor.

The day was peaceful and enjoyable, a perfectly happy day.

Except in a dark, windowless room in the middle of a building where the worlds best detective was waking up.

There, there was no noise, no kittens or birds, cicada's or nice young men, and definitely no sunlight.

Just two men in a bed.

The first thing L noticed was that he was tangled up in sheets and chains and Raito. Slowly, he began to untangle himself from the mess.

Raito awoke with a start, looking around dazed before glaring at L.

"You." he hissed.

"Me." L replied.

"You tried to rape me last night."

"I have no recollection of that."

"Of course you don't; you were asleep."

"As to be expected. You slipped me sleeping pills after all."

"You knew?" Raito gasped. Then he shut his mouth quickly, his glare sharpening as he continued to stare at L.

"Oh, yes." L replied, running a hand through his dark hair. He frowned when his hand came back greasy. Time for a shower.

"Then why did you drink it?"

L smiled. "I decided to humor you. And teach you a lesson."

Raito looked at the detective with a quizzical look in his eyes. "Teach me a lesson?"

"I am very much aware of my sleeping habits. For some reason, if I fall asleep in a bed, I wake up hugging something. Rather odd, really." L scratched at a scab he'd acquired during one of his and Raito's scuffles. He was afraid Raito was about to initiate another fight.

Raito was sitting next to him, fuming. L scooted away a few inches.

"You mean you molest things in your sleep?! Is that why you wouldn't go to bed?"

L stared back at Raito, looking at him as if he were an idiot. "Would you sleep with someone knowing you would wake up clutching them to you chest?"

"But you could have _warned _me!"

"You drugged _me_ Raito-kun."

"Because you didn't give me a solid reason as to why you refused to sleep!"

"People learn better through experience."

Raito did all he could to keep himself from punching the older man. Hard.

Later that morning, L and Raito walked into the investigation room and sat down. More precisely, L walked in, commanding as much respect as a hunched over insomniac can, and then sat proudly in his seat, ready to work for two weeks straight with 10 minutes of sleep. Raito however, dragged his ever-so-sleep deprived body into the room and sank into the chair, folding his arms on the desk and burying his face in the previously folded limbs, and wished death on every name that crossed his mind.

* * *

**Yay! More crack XD**

**I hope you liked this. The idea came to me in science, and I started writing. I know, I know. MAJOR OOC crack. But it was funny, right? Right?**

**Ah well. It entertained me at least.**

**Remember-- I'd love to hear from you! Leave a few words, even if they're "THIS R TEH B3ST!!!11!!!eleven!" or "Dude. You suck. Go die." (Even though the later would make me sad... TT.TT)**

**-Hybrid**


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